Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wow, yeah. I am getting more and more and more convinced that I won't be auditioning for the next show, "Screwtape". May be this be my last show? I cannot handle this any more alone. I am so flipping sore and dog-tired after rehearsals. And then come home to a lonely apartment to muster up strength to stand and fix something to eat. Let alone the fact that household stuff gets ignored. Getting up the excitement to arise in the morning is disappearing as well. It aches so much just to gather the will to get ready for the day. I so want to just fetal the day through. How the dickens did Ol' Job carry through all his trials and tribulations? Who's got my back? Who is there to let me know to carry on?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My Facebook status from this morning: "Fact -- My body revolts against rehearsals w/ flareups of numbness, tinglings, and jolts the day after; and this after but only mere rehearsals. What may come from full performances, I ask. I say, "Bring it on!" in my best efforted British dialect of your choosing..."

The truth? It sucks. It really, really is a chore to get going the morning after rehearsal. And last night was a very, very easy, mild rehearsal. Today, what is numb and tingling? Left hand -- little finger, ring finger, middle finger to the palm to the elbow. Right hand, heel of palm. Right knee, bottom of right foot. Back of left calf and top of left foot. Right cheek/jaw. And the low back is angry.

What is going to happen when I put my 114% in to the performances, night after night? I really want to audition for the next show, "Screwtape", but I am having great difficulty in mustering up any sort of enthusiasm to endure another show, back to back.

This is my thorn, for it has not slain me, just given me inconvenience. Who in sacred Judaeo-Christian writ ever lived a total tip-toe-through-the-tulips life of complete bliss? And yet, their faith in YHWH never failed. Even though my flesh so desires to be done and gone, the spirit within plods forward.

So yeah, the body hurts something crazy and friends probably just over time eventually tune me out, I know full well that the Triune God will never leave me.

Wednesday, November 9, 2010

The cheek and its wonderfulness dissipated on Saturday, the feet calmed down enough to get some work done around the apartment. Then the jolts came visiting both feet on Sunday. But Monday, a day off from work, not too shabby. My fears have come to fruition. With rehearsals for "A Christmas Carol", being on my feet for a couple hours each evening, I am in a world of wonder the next day. Mostly completely exhaustion in both feet and legs. My low back is whining too. But, it is all for the love of the theatre, right? Right?

Friday, November 5, 2010

After a peaceful, quiet week, how about something new? In addition to the left foot, especially the heel buzzing with needles and spikes, my right cheek is tingling with a needle piercing the back of my right eyeball. So, limping off the left foot with the right side of my face not really perky. Another observation as of late... seems when there isn't any buzzing or such and the body is back in its "relaxed" stage, I tend to pee a whole lot more, frequency and quantity. Weird. The human body, how fun.